Boundary Setting

Boundaries are an essential part of healthy relationships, especially when they are communicated clearly.

Individuals who communicate their comfort levels using simple, direct, language have an easier time setting boundaries. There are many types of boundaries such as time boundaries, energy boundaries, emotional boundaries, personal space boundaries, conversational boundaries, material boundaries, sexual boundaries, and physical boundaries. 

When boundaries are crossed, it can lead to burnout, being taken advantage of, and neglecting your own needs. When first setting boundaries, just know that not everyone will respect them. It may take time and it is essential to stand firm and communicate your needs. In collectivist cultures, there may be enmeshed boundaries within the family structure. 

Enmeshment involves the lack of physical and emotional boundaries. In many South Asian families, the priority is taking care of others and not thinking about what is best for you as an individual. Often, immigrant parents look to their children for advice, support, and guidance. When roles and expectations are confusing, it can lead to enmeshed boundaries. An example is when children may feel pressured to meet parental expectations or parent’s self-worth is connected to their children’s successes or accomplishments. Boundaries are essential to develop autonomy, a sense of self, and to develop individual beliefs and values.

Here are some ways to set healthy boundaries:

• Openly communicate your boundaries to people in your life

• Clearly express how you feel when your boundaries are crossed

• Remind people if needed (but always stick to your boundaries)

• Don’t be afraid to say “no” to things that don’t serve you

• Take time for yourself and practice self-care

Reference: Science of People (2023)